True Self 2014
You have been with me all my life and you have developed into a very strong part of the mind, body and spirit trilogy of this life. You have guided me and taught me how to survive. You directed my being and slowly formed me into the person I am now. As I write these words, which you are helping to construct, I realise just how much you have taken control of this beautiful trilogy of mind, body and spirit. This is your attempt to keep my life-story going but in doing this you have become too dominant. You became overly excessive to the point of self destruction. Any excess is obvious and to see this clearly all that I needed to do was observe the influence you have on me and the self sabotaging thoughts that you generate. With this awareness I could look at myself truthfully without self judging or criticizing, just acceptance. As I did this, with the aid of the truth, I slowly gained acceptance of the flow of life. You tried to force me to go with this flow in your own controlling way but controlling wasn’t the answer, surrender was.
The hurts and pain that I experienced have influenced the way you make choices and you taught me to avoid the feelings and emotions that arise from the suffering of being hurt. Other more pleasant emotions that came you happily expressed them but this imbalance of expression, with the painful emotions being hidden, caused me to become numb. Suppressing the hidden treasure of emotions was to be my downfall and if the spirit in me didn’t become a stronger part of my choices my existence became under real threat. The spirit taught me to listen to my heart, face my fears and let your voice fade with it’s building negativity. Even though at first this was terrifying the rewards have slowly come. Now I feel all there is to feel and I have unwrapped the gift of emotions. I am no longer numb and as I use you instead of you using me I open myself up to all phenomena, especially the experience of Love.
The spirit in me, as well as the needs of the body helped me to realize again that my structure needed changing. You made this structure far too rigid and as history has proven time and time again, rigid structures are always doomed to fail and fall. With many realizations the spirit has slowly shone through given me the meaning and purpose that I seemed to always be searching for. I know I had to go through all my experiences to see this. My search and the way you have helped me survive have bought many wonderful experiences and these have shaped me to the person I am. Part of my purpose now is to share as much as I can of these experiences, for to share is to bring unity and it’s unity that will bring forth the one emotion that we are all looking for and that’s Love. It’s sad that we all try to find it in something or someone else. The truth is real Love, with no conditions, can only be found inwardly and it’s then that Love will flow outwardly. The overwhelming desire to find Love causes so much pain and suffering, of which you play a major role in the universal mind. This has become very excessive indeed but as I have said all excesses are obvious, it’s just a matter of the will to change with the spirit shinning through to guide us all.
You have guided me till now and I am grateful for the way you have taught me and helped me to survive. Wishing and wanting have been formed as a by-product of your guidance and I simply use the power of choice now rather than wish or want something in my life to help gain fulfillment. It’s not that I am ungrateful for what I have but as I let go of the patterns and the attachments that you formed in me I realize that my reliance on them for my happiness became greater than the attachments themselves. Together we have created many wonderful attachments with the Love of those closest to me being the most wonderful gift of all.
As the structure of the mind, body and spirit of who I am becomes balanced I am inspired by the imagination, intuition and creativity that seems to easily flow through me now. I feel blessed by this natural ability. With the gratitude and acceptance of each other, Dear Mind, together we can form a new way. The old way has taught us, the new way will guide us.
The few obstacles that hold me back now and obstruct the urge in me to create are quickly processed by the ritual that I perform daily, a ritual that was always in me and that you are helping to develop . At times the obstructions are many but the underlying faith of what I do heavily influences the actions that we now create together. Believing in one’s self is so powerful. There has always been a ritualistic belief system that has been taught over and over again by many great masters, all that’s needed is for the uniqueness of the individual to add to its essence.
I now have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. We can work together Dear Mind and I look forward to what our now enlightened relationship will bring.
Love True Self.